THE PERFECT ROLE MODEL

                                                              

            I was looking through a year book of a university class of recent, and in my usual manner taking my time to read about every student profiled in the booklet I was holding. I took particular interest in who they all called their role models and mentors, some mentioned individuals of questionable characters and well as expected, some listed great individuals. I however noticed a disturbing trend, less than five people listed either of their parents as mentors. 

Let me help you understand, in over 100 students, only three of them wanted and hoped to be like their parents in the nearest future. I quickly did a mental retrospect down memory lane and remembered times I had ever talked about this issue with friends, I also realized less than three of about 20 people I had discussed with in times past, said their parents were mentors to them. Trust me, my thoughts wandered and ran riot as to why do we have this trend. I arrived at some conclusions of my own; however I still stand to be corrected.

            To start with; some salient questions are begging for answers. Who do we call a role model or mentor? As the case may be. What do we look out for or what features do we hope to imbibe that we see in our mentors. Do we know our mentors deep enough to wish for the kind of lifestyle they live? 

Let’s ask ourselves those questions. I discovered a lot of us choose our mentors based on superficial and exterior features. From my interaction with those who pick music superstars as role models, their choice was not based on the inspiration in the music of such person or who the person really is when the whole pomp, glitz and fame are put aside, but are only motivated by the flaunting of cash, acquisition of cars, houses, studs and the hordes of followers who drool at their feet. Is that what a role model entails? I thought choosing a role model should be all about the person’s natural features and what he truly represents even in his private closet? And even to some of us who think we have chosen great individuals who have at one time or the other impacted their environment and on the outside have portrayed themselves to be great leaders, how do we feel when their private lives come under public light and we discover they are not who we actually thought they are?

            Away from that, why do we have a generation that hardly has their parents as role models? Everyone would probably have different reasons. Well, our parents are not perfect, some of them maybe have characters that are shameful, and some probably get things wrong or don’t have features we crave, they are maybe not close enough or friends with us as much as we have loved. 

However it may be, they remain our parents, and very big kudos and hearty cheers to them to how far they have led us, believe me or not, they remain our most prized possessions. Now, they are not your mentors, you know the reasons why.

            A lot of us reading this piece are most likely on that track to marriage and becoming parents, have you ever pondered on these thoughts? Whoever you have called your mentor, are parents to some other people, no matter the bond you share (for those of us that have personal contact with them), the truth remains they are not your parents!! 

When you begin to have your kids, would they make you mentors or they would also choose parents from the outside? Be truthful to yourself, the kind of life you are living right now, the kind of ideologies you have, the things you spend your time doing, would they be good enough for your kids to say YES!! I want to be like Mom or Dad. How deep are you in the things that add value and virtue? Are your ideas based on sincerity, integrity, honesty and patience?

            Sadly enough, I look at we the set of next generation parents and even those of us married, and discover unless we sit ourselves down and talk senses into us, the trend might just continue, our values are weak, our morals are deficient and leadership traits in us is almost non-existent, so how do we plan do mentor our kids. Mentoring is beyond the provision of your duties (care, education, material things) as parents. 

You have to be a friend, teacher, and leader, be your kid’s first lover. Some of us did not pick our parents as mentors because they did not create an enabling environment where we were free to tell them our worries or whatever we had done, no matter how bad. Create that platform for your kids, and make them safe, knowing they have a confidant in you. Do not make your kids wish to have the kind of family their friends at school have, you would lose them forever. 

A situation where your kids have to pick a parent like you from the outside and wish for their lives shows how irresponsible you are. I call on every youth cum adult out there, think about it, and choose to live wisely and be great parents to our kids so as to also make them great parents to their own kids, therefore creating a chain and society of responsible citizens.