THE TYPICAL AFRICAN YOUTH AND PARENTING

This is a lengthy piece, you could come back to it, if you are not patient enough!!!

I watch on and listen with intent, every time our renowned pastors ( male and female), preach on and dwell on the issues of Marriage and what makes it crash or what makes it stand, and how the have been able to protect and weather the storms that threatened to wreck their "marriage-ship".

Quite a lot of Marraiges have been saved over the years, by this counsels and counsellors, a lot of divorces have been averted, a good thing for our future, i quite agree.

I am however amazed an Important aspect of the Marriage is always left untouched. THE KIDS, THE CHILDREN, THE YOUTHS that have been produced by the suppossedly saved marriages.

Who caters for them? who is preaching about them? This is what i mean.

I have noticed the normal traditional way of raising kids are no longer effective, gone are the days when, phrases like "i would beat you, "dont touch that thing', "remember the child of whom you are" " dont join bad gangs in school" have an effect on kids and youths. It doesnt work again, have bothered to find out why? NO!! instead we choose to always believe this generation is well, Corrupt and rotten, Some people say End-time syndrome, well why it might be true to some extent, other factors could change alot.

Back then, parents that did not have time to cater for the kids, were the bankers, stockbrokers et al, always out in the morning and back late night, however even now, jobless parents or full time mothers don't have time for the wards anymore.

Well, my observations made me conclude, we are only engaging in what i call "PHYSICAL PARENTING" in this part of the world, providing the needs, money, wears, and well normal moral virtues.

Have we ever heard of PSYCHOLOGICAL, MENTAL, EMOTIONAL, SPIRITUAL, MOTIVATIONAL PARENTING?

While we are physically with our youths and children, we are also very far from them, making some of us become drawn inside, seek advice from wrong quarters, make harmful mistakes, some of us, the only relationship we have with our parents, is just the "Good morning sir/ma" " i need money" relationship.

When was the last time our parents asked us what our career would look like? when was the last time we were encouraged to fail and rise up again? when was the last time we were encouraged or motivated face life and its challenges heads-on?
when was the last time our parents told us their stories so we could learn from it? when was the last time we were down, sad, and our parents have tried to lovingly cheer us up rather than insult or castigate us harshly for frowning, some even attribute it to reasons that are ridiculous? how many of us are bold enough to discuss the hormonal changes in our body system with out parents? for the fear of being labelled something else. i could go on and on, how many of us are even bold enough to bring home female friends (guys) or male friends (girls), or even bring home any of our friends?

Our parents should be our pastors, motivational speakers, counsellors, best friends, first love, relationship counsellor and love doctors.

i would end here, i hope this gets out, and i believe i speak the mind of a lot of youths out there.

i am not trying to teach our parents what to do, we adore them, they are the best we have, we worship them.

Just saying we need more loving and understanding parents.

- Emmanuel Akintubosun